Sunday, July 17, 2011


I just wrote a long post about my mini-milestone for Week 8 (21km!!) and my new running shoes, and somehow Blogger lost it! Grrrrrr. Will have to come back later.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

A challenge for next week

Awesome personal trainer and fellow 12WBT Ambassador Michelle Bryant set us Perth women (& men, I believe there is one male crew member and then a few husbands/partners who sometimes tag along) a challenge this week: burn 1000 calories every day. This was actually the catalyst to my brain-spew. Ugh. I couldn't do it!!

Once I was looking at things a bit more rationally I thought, okay, I really can't do it this week, but NEXT week my kids are going to be away for at least half the week. It's school holidays here and they're going to stay down at the beach with my in-laws to give my mum a break from watching them all the time while I work. So this is my challenge for next week, starting on Sunday with City to Surf hill training.

Everything I've read suggests that when training for a long race, you should peak distance-wise two weeks before the event, and do shorter distances from there on in. With that in mind, I did 16km last weekend, I'll aim for 19km this weekend and 22km the one after (the lake I run around is approximately 3km around), and then taper. With the kids away, though, I'll actually be able to go to the gym and mix things up a bit. Maybe some classes ... can't do the morning ones as I work early, but with no kids there's no reason not to do a 5.30pm class. And some swimming, I've missed swimming. I have size 10 bathers that FIT!! The 14s were gaping a bit, heh.

Only four weeks of this round left; in five weeks I'll be getting ready to go to Brisbane for finale. I'm still undecided about Round 3; while I've reached my goal weight I have definitely NOT reached my toning/strength goals. Hmmm.

Monday, July 11, 2011


Three years ago on July 7, my third child was 'due'. Due dates are not an expiry date, people. On July 29, she was born. The whole three weeks of being post-dates was an emotional rollercoaster for me. The birth itself, was traumatic. That's not something I often admit to people outside my 'birthy' circle, because many people just don't get it.

"But at least you have a healthy baby."

Yes. Thanks for reminding me. I know that. People lose their babies, or have very sick babies/children, I know that. Two good friends of mine have lost babies at full-term in the past few years. THEY would never say this to a woman who has had a traumatic birth, because they 'get it'. My pain does not diminish yours, nor does yours diminish mine; they are separate entities and we are different people on different journeys.

'Healthy' is sometimes a misnomer, anyway. Yes, she was alive and she is certainly strong and healthy now, but there was damage caused to her and to me by her birth and I don't think that should be ignored just because we are both alive.

My two over-riding memories of that night are being helped on to the hospital trolley in the ambulance bay and lying there thinking, not again, I've failed, and of the hours I spent alone, being prepped for theatre (E2 had been born, she was in the SCBU and I was haemorrhaging), and later after I came out of theatre, entirely alone and crying because I did not have my baby in my arms.

I have discovered this week that yes, this does still bother me, three years on. Anniversaries are hard; birthdays are not always joyous occasions. I celebrate my daughter's life, but I am sad inside. I am struggling with the emotions, with feelings of failure, loss of control, and being not good enough. I am eating too much, and not exercising enough.

I write this not to scare those of you who haven't had children - I do NOT want to be one of those people who take joy in scaring mothers-to-be with horrible labour/birth stories - but to tell those of you who have had children, have experienced trauma and stuffed it down because your baby is "healthy", that you are not alone. Be angry, I find this is at least a more productive emotion than guilt and sadness. Or, like me, at least recognise what you are feeling, and allow yourself to deal with it.

Friday, July 8, 2011


I signed up for the WAMC Perth Half Marathon. 7 August. Holy crap.

My training has been so all over the place due to everything else going on in my life (I know!! Excuses!!) but I have to believe I can do this.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

New PB!

The GPS kept skipping parts of the race, dammit, that was 10km and measured as such by the WA Marathon Club. My previous PB for 10km was 58 minutes, set back in April. Can't wait to see what my official time was! I went out a bit harder than usual, and the last 2 kilometres were bloody hard work, but I did it.

Soooo, half-marathon goal is under 2hr20min. Can I do it? Watch this space. I am contemplating doing the WAMC half in early August in addition to the City to Surf - the WAMC one is a much flatter course.

Here are the wonderful Perth Crew women who also competed in the Women's Classic today. It was pretty much personal bests across the board, either for times or distance. We ROCK! This was an out-and-back course, so it was really awesome to encourage the other 12WBTers as we passed each other and then at the finish line.