Week 2 Blogging Challenge: My Greatest Strengths

Thanks, Kath, for this week's timely blogging challenge: my greatest strengths.

I remember being asked at my very first job interview, what I thought were my greatest strengths. I couldn't answer it well then, I've bluffed my way through answering it at many job interviews since, and I still struggle to answer it honestly.

I will stick to strengths that are relevant to the 12WBT and living a healthy life, because you probably don't need to know that I can spot a spelling error from a mile away, am a nit-picking grammar nazi of a copy-editor, and can sew a nice straight seam on the sewing machine. Or that I make really good coffee and can do multiplication and addition in my head. Just so you know, though, I can do all those things!

1. Endurance and persistence

In school, I always wanted to be really good at a sport. I wasn't terrible at sport, but I didn't have an overwhelming talent in any one area. I took up cross-country and longer-distance track running (1500m) because I worked out that most people simply couldn't be bothered keeping on going; while sprinting relied heavily on natural talent, I could at least make it to interschools in longer distances by showing up at training and just outlasting most others.

Same thing applies now. I'm never going to be at the front of a pack in a running race, but I can just keep on going, burn those calories, run distances that some people think are really awesome, by pure grit. There's no elegance in my running style, just one foot in front of the other.

Like the story of the hare and the tortoise, I'm quite happy to plod along slowly, as long as I do what I need to do.

2. Not being strong

Sounds silly, yes? I think that when you are very good at something, it can be difficult to help others and empathise with their struggles. In high school, I was a maths whiz. Almost everything we studied just came so easily to me - yes, I was one of those annoying people who could not study hard, and still get good marks (unfortunately this didn't carry through to university, but that's another story). Quite often, I would be asked to help friends with the coursework and it just didn't work! Because it came so easily to me, my explanations of the process were inadequate to them, and we got frustrated with each other.

In some ways, the same applies to fitness, weight loss, and so on. I am ashamed to say that I used to take part in fat-hatred. I always thought it was okay because I "wasn't saying I hated the PERSON", but it's not okay to make fat jokes, poke fun at people for gaining weight, ridicule overweight people struggling to run along the footpath. God, I feel ashamed writing this, and I hope anyone reading who is overweight, has been overweight, and particularly those who have been overweight all their lives, do not hate me for this. I could run, and I was thin, therefore people who weren't thin and who couldn't run or were unfit, were obviously lazy and doing something wrong.

You'll all be pleased to hear I've gained bucketloads of empathy since then. Of course, the cynics among you could argue that it's only because I put on excess weight myself, but I prefer to think it's just part of growing up. I've had struggles with various other issues along the way, and so not being strong (physically, at least. I have become stronger mentally) has made me a much nicer and kinder person. I just wish I hadn't spent a number of years of my life being an arsehole!

OK, I'm done. I could only come up with two! Guess I'm not that good at this yet.

When were YOUR body image issues installed?

First off, a self-congratulatory pat on the back - after doing Combat yesterday, I went to Attack this morning and I DID IT! I didn't like it quite so much as Combat, and I missed quite a few of the moves, or rather was off-beat, but I jumped and jogged and did jumping jacks, heh. And after that, I ran the 3km home. My legs were burning, but it felt good.

On another note, someone recently bumped a thread on one of my favourite forums (a feminist homebirthing forum) entitled, "When were your body image issues installed?" and I was reminded of my response to that question a year or so ago. Then I read a post in the 12WBT forums this morning, another woman talking about how HER body image issues were installed, and it really resonated with me.

So I'm going to share. This is a public blog, and generally I don't really talk about this publicly, but here you go.

When I was 12 and in high school, I had a crush on a boy, as you do. Another girl in my year, who liked the same boy, wrote me a kind, helpful letter detailing all my physical imperfections and how I could perhaps work on them by losing weight, wearing makeup, wearing coloured contacts, and never smiling because I had awful teeth. Oh, and try not to be so *smart* (Lord knows women aren't meant to be *smart*, that'll make the men feel bad). And you know what? Just try to be less ugly. That one, spiteful action, absolutely wrecked my self-esteem for years.

I wasn't overweight for many of those years - I played lots of sports in high school - but I hated myself and indulged in a lot of self-destructive behaviour, which I probably won't go into here.

You know what? I still look the same (aged by 16 years, of course). I still have pimples, and I did eventually get my teeth straightened out with braces as an adult, and now I smile, and I say f*** you, I don't care anymore.

I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words won't bring me down. (Christina Aguilera, Beautiful)

Excuses, excuses

Ah, the excuses I make to myself for not exercising.

I'm too tired.
It's too hot.
I don't have time.
I don't feel well.

None of them original, all of them oft-used.

You know what? Get over it. Just do it! And if I don't do it one day, do it the next, until those excuses are squashed for good.

One that I really struggle with is "I'll look silly", or "I won't be good at it". This has been part of my personality since I was a child: my mother often tells me the story of when she tried to teach me to knit, and when I couldn't pick it up within a couple of days, I threw the needles away and never tried again! (For the record, I taught myself to knit a few years ago, mostly from YouTube videos. I did ALMOST reach the point of throwing the needles away again first, though.)

I'm a Virgo, and though I'm not a huge astrological devotee, one Virgo personality trait that fits is that I am a pedant; a perfectionist. In some ways, this is good, but like many personality traits there are two sides to the coin. If I can't do something well, I would rather not do it at all.

Co-ordination has never been my strong point. I ran, in school, because that didn't require any, except the basic co-ordination required not to fall over. I never danced at school socials, because I don't do it well - in fact, I still don't dance at most social events unless I'm tipsy.

When I joined a gym six months ago, I tried one Zumba class and hated it, because I could not get those moves. I doubt anyone was paying any attention to me, but I just couldn't hack being so bad at it. RPM is more my style because all you have to do is go slow or fast! Similarly, I never did the resistance exercises that the trainer recommended, because I didn't know if I did them right and I didn't want to be told that I wasn't.

But you know what? I am an adult now; I need to get over this.

I did a kickboxing workout DVD tonight, and without anyone watching, it was FUN, even though I didn't get all the moves. Maybe I'll work up the courage to try a Body Combat class or something. One day.